Monday 14 May 2007

Blog Etiquette

Completely off topic this one, but I've been prolifically exploring the blogosphere recently, and sometimes what I find, particularly in comment boxes, disturbs me.

People put their lives, innermost feelings, grief, love, worries, fears, photos of their kids, in a public forum. They write about decisions they've made, things they're not happy about, life changing events.... and all of a sudden some sour, embittered person with an agenda hijacks their comment box with a stream of vitriol, and often, encourages other likeminded vitriolmongers to visit, do the same, and post the link on their blog. Soon, a personal crisis or tragedy becomes public property, a piece of meat to be pawed over, a debating subject. And as such, those commenting seem to forget the human, real, feelings behind the original posting. They talk to the original poster in a way they never would if they were face to face in public.

This upsets me.

Some would argue that bloggers relinquish the right to expect politesse and mediated comments by putting their personal wares out for the world, but why can't we exercise the same manners, compassion, self editing in the blogosphere that we do in the real world? What is it about blogging, apart from the possibility to comment anonymously, which makes this happen?

I'm not going to refer you to any of the most troubling examples of this - as that would be doing the particular vitriol mongers a favour - but suffice to say this blog, for the sake of my mental welfare, and the privacy of my child and husband, will skirt around sensitive or controversial issues. A shame, in a way, as I love a good discussion, but only one where normal social etiquette and human values of compassion, tolerance and empathy are the driving forces.

Good. I've wanted to get that one out of my system for a few days.

2 comments:

Steve said...

I've experienced the unpleasantness of these cyberbullies myself - which is why I now moderate all comments before choosing to publish them. It's a shame I have to do it but it's the only way to exercise some degree of editorial control. It also filters out crap advertizing / spam comments that are another plague of the Blogosphere.

In the end though you're right - there should be (and indeed is) a code of conduct for all internet usage / blogging and most people do adhere to it. Unfortunately there will always be moral cowards whose only outlet for their diseased thought processes is to leave faceless comments on other people's sites and other people's blogs - nine times out of ten anonymously or with a blatently fake moniker. At the end of the day I can give as good as I get but why should I have to? Far easier to deny them their voice (and their ego boost) by deleting their comments as and when they occur.

Of course some argue that this is dishonest and criticism should be published along with the praise. However, I think there is a big difference between criticism and abuse. Criticism I always have time for. Abuse gets binned immediately.

At the end of the day my blog isn't an open forum for other people (though I love to get comments) and other people don't have an automatic right to print what the hell they like on my blog - only I have that right. Hence the all important editorial control facility.

Like you I'm also choosy about what I write about and what I allow to be published. There's always a self editing process occurring no matter what I'm writing and moderating comments is merely an extension of that I suppose. Also friends, co-workers and family read my blog as well as a host of unknown individuals... and none of them have the right to full and easy access to every twinge of my insufferably pedantic little brain. Some things are just too personal and are just between me and the chosen few. Some are just for me alone.

My blog is merely a tiny facet of the whole me.

Steve said...

Thank you for the link by the way - though, alas it doesn't work! You need to remove one of the http://'s as it has one too many! ;-)